Extramarital Affair Excuses

There are many exused given out for having an extramarital affair and the following are just some of the most popular ones:

If you know your partner has committed adultery but you didn't want to leave her at the time because you didn't want to be on your own, commit adultery yourself and pay back your adulterous floozy of a partner.

If you get caught, say "But honey, I was thinking of you at the time."

If you are going to do it in a car use a 1956 Cheverolet - the front seat makes a great work bench.

Simply start to act as though you have a multiple personality disorder. Not only will your other half become more caring towards you, but you can also blame one of your alter-egos if you ever get caught.

Divorce your wife, marry someone you hate, then have sex with your ex, that way you can both feel naughty.

It's only considered marital infidelity if you do it in the same Zipcode. Do it in the next zipcode over from you and you're OK.

If you don't want to see the man again, say "I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, every day and night will be like paradise!" This will get rid of him quick.

If you got caught, the can't go past the excuse "I could never disrespect you enough to do the filthy stuff I did to her."

It's OK for you to commit marital infidelity with a person of your gender. You can tell your partner "I'm looking for something you haven’t got," and not be insulting.

It's a good idea not to have an affair with priests and nuns. Technically, these people are married to God. You don't want God slashing your tires for eternity, even if you do live in a city.

It is not a good idea to keep the condoms as a souvenir.

Despite what Bill Clinton might say, oral sex counts.

Don't keep in touch with the people you cheat with: A one-night stand is supposed to be just that: One night of passion. Any time you try to extend it beyond that, you run the risk of hurt feelings and jealousy.